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SEELIE PRINCESS: From Draft to Print

Writing a book can be a long process. When I started this journey 5 years ago, I had very little knowledge of writing itself. But through continuous effort, hard work, and persistence, I finally achieved my goal. Today I want to take stock of the individual stages that I worked through with SEELIE PRINCESS.

Summer 2014 – Spring 2015

In this first phase, a vague idea was formed into a plot through meticulous research and brainstorming. I spent hours upon hours researching Celtic mythology, writing up character profiles, plotting, and experimenting with various different scenes and dialogues.

Spring 2015 – Fall 2015

I think it was in March that I finally found the courage to actually write the book. The first few weeks were slow, and I was weighed down by fear. Could I do this? Or am I just setting myself up to fail? My sense for perfectionism slowed me down even further, because I felt like I had to write the perfect first draft. In the end I guess it was thanks to heartbreak that I was able to let go of my perfectionism and just pour my heart and soul onto the page.

Years 2016-2017

After I finished my first draft, chaos ensued. I had finally done the seemingly impossible—I had written a book. But what now? In those two years, periods of collecting feedback and editing were interspersed with periods of absolute silence. Life kept getting in the way, and I grew more and more anxious about my project. The longer I stayed away, the harder it was to find my way back. But I never stayed away entirely. The way I can explain this is if you think of your mind as a web browser, and the tab called WRITING was constantly open. Sometimes it was shoved to the background, sometimes it was at the very front. But it was never truly gone. In those two years, I explored writing shorter stories, read several books on writing (which I guess would have been helpful before I started out), went to workshops, took a writing class during my semester abroad, and tried to hone my skills as best as I could.

Spring and Summer of 2018

That’s when I truly found my way back to my manuscript. I don’t know why it happened exactly at that point—perhaps because I had a bit less on my plate than I had the previous years. Or perhaps because I could no longer bear the idea that I might never finish this book. So when a friend of mine told me about Pitch Wars, I jumped right back into editing mode. Equipped with the skills I had gained in the previous years, I tore through my manuscript with a red pen in my hand. And while I did not get picked in the competition, I’m glad I tried because it was the motivation I needed to keep going.

Fall and Winter of 2018

But of course being rejected can take a toll on a person. It was the first rejection I received for SEELIE PRINCESS and it was overwhelming, to say the least. It took a couple of week to get back on my feet. I submitted my manuscript to another competition, queried a few agents—and collected some more rejections. But just as I was about to fall down a deep dark hole, I realized that I might be on the wrong path. That the traditional route might not be the right one for me or my book.

Spring and Summer of 2019

After a few months away from my manuscript, I was ready for more. I had collected some ideas and started working on a revision. Going back felt familiar and new at the same time. I was filled with a new kind of excitement, and I rushed through my revision. A couple of feedback sessions and edits later, I was heading straight for the finishing line. In July, I sent off my manuscript to my editor. Another round of edits and my manuscript was up for final proofreading at the beginning of August. And all of a sudden, though it had happened gradually over years, my book was finished.

The end…is the beginning

If you self-publish, the journey doesn’t end there. There’s still formatting, distribution, and marketing, but you should also take a moment to pat yourself on the shoulder and say, “You did it. You really finished that novel.” And then you should hold your little book baby and show it to the world. Because in the end the hardest part of writing a book is letting it go. At least it was for me. But today…

I

am

letting

go…

Read a sample of SEELIE PRINCESS

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#PrideMonth19: My Favorite LGBTQ Books

Happy Pride Month everyone!

Every year in June, we celebrate the right to love whoever we want. We take it to the streets and show the world that we’re stronger than homophobia and prejudices. I feel like the world is slowly changing—at least in my country. People are opening up, offering queers a safe space to live and love.

My (former) university was proud to show its colors during last week’s Euro Pride.

I believe that some of this change is thanks to books. It’s thanks to writers, queer or straight, who aren’t afraid to give the LGBTQ community the representation it deserves. It’s thanks to queer people who speak out for themselves and others.

To honor some of those wonderful writers who made it their mission to include queer people in the fictional world they create, I compiled a list of books that I’ve enjoyed in the past few years.

CREEKWOOD SERIES by Becky Albertalli

No such list should exist without the wonderful SIMON VS. THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA. It’s one of the best coming-out stories I’ve ever read and it gives you all the feels. Luckily, Albertalli gifted us with a sequel. LEAH ON THE OFF BEAT is just as adorable and heart-warming as its predecessor and it’s also one of the fewer novels with a bisexual main character. Personally, I’d say this series is an LGBTQ must-read.

ARISTOTLE AND DANTE DISCOVER THE SECRET OF THE UNIVERSE by Benjamin Alire Saénz

Every once in a while you read a love story that completely shatters your heart before putting it back together. In my opinion, this one is a masterpiece of queer fiction. It’s the perfect summer read that transports you straight into the world of Ari and Dante, two characters you can’t help but fall in love with.

WHAT IF IT’S US by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera

This novel is one of those meet-cute stories we’ve all read and seen before, but with an LGBTQ couple at its center. Other than SIMON VS., this story has none of the coming-out angst, but all the fluffy feels of falling in love for the first time. Albertalli seems to know how to write compelling LGBTQ fiction, though I must admit that this one is not as good as her CREEKWOOD series.

CARRY ON by Rainbow Rowell

It took me quite a long time to pick up this book and I must admit that I hadn’t realized it was queer fiction at first. But the moment I did, I wouldn’t let go of the book. In short, this novel is for people who love magical schools and vampires and two adorable guys falling for each other, despite how miserable they make each other in the beginning. Thank god there’s a sequel coming soon!

THE SHADOWUNTER CHRONICLES by Cassandra Clare

Okay, so Clare’s increasingly growing SHADOWHUNTER CHRONICLES is an entire world in itself. When I read CITY OF BONES back in 2013, I was surprised to find not only one but two queer characters in a fantasy novel: the “freewheeling bisexual” Magnus Bane and shy, closeted Alec Lightwood. Over the years, Clare continued the Malec story and added several other queer characters (among my favorites are Helen Blackthorn and Aline Penhallow). Her latest novel called THE RED SCROLLS OF MAGIC focuses entirely on the adventures of Magnus and Alex. At the end of the book, she mentions how difficult it was to convince publishers of Alec and Magnus back when she started out. I’m glad she persisted, because Malec is one of the best queer couples I’ve ever read about.

We could all use a little bit more Malec in our lives.

All of those books add a little diversity to the literary world. They paint a more authentic picture of the world around us, giving queer people a place in it. When I was growing up, there wasn’t much LGBTQ fiction and most of it wasn’t mainstream. Nowadays, whenever I find a queer book, online or in store, my younger self squeals with joy.

Thankfully, the list of LGBTQ books is gradually growing. I’m always on the lookout for new queer fiction that I can fall in love with. Know of any great LGBTQ books? Let me know in the comments below!

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ON WRITING MY FIRST NOVEL AND THE LESSONS I LEARNED

Before we dive into the process of writing my first novel, I have to tell you a little bit about my beginnings as a writer. I don’t remember when exactly I began writing as a child, it must have been in my early teens. Back then it was mostly fanfiction and all of it was still in German (because my English was abysmal). So technically I already wrote several novels back then, but as I’ll outline below, writing a novel is about so much more than just putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).

The beginning

In the summer of 2014, after many years of dreaming about writing a book, an idea came to me and I latched onto it. For months I plotted, researched, fantasized, and planned. I let the story play out in my head over and over. And it wasn’t until March the following year that I’d worked up enough courage to actually write the damn thing. Progress was slow in the beginning, because I was so focused on writing the perfect book. Once I had realized there was no such thing, I really got going. I wrote most of the first draft over the following summer.

I wrote something—now what?

And then I abandoned my project. Perhaps it was because I didn’t really know which step would come next. I’d finished stories before, but as a teenager I’d been happy just making up stuff. Now, as a somewhat grown-up, I wanted to take writing to the next level. So I was back to researching: how do I self-edit? How can feedback help me improve my story? What even makes a great story?

For most of 2016 and 2017 I taught myself the craft of writing. Though writing a good story is ultimately a question of talent, I believe, there are still a few techniques and “rules” that can help along the way. So I ploughed through several writing books and websites and even took a class on creative writing during my semester abroad. I gathered feedback from my wonderful writers group. I equipped myself with all kinds of tools so I could face the next step of my novel: the dreaded editing.

Taking chances

I spent the better half of 2018 ferociously editing my novel. In August, I handed it in to PitchWars and sent it off to agents. I was devastated when I didn’t get picked in PitchWars and the rejections apppeared in my inbox. In retrospect, I think I needed those rejections to realize that 1) my book wasn’t ready after all and 2) I’m drawn more toward self-publishing.

What followed were another few months of figuring out how to do the self-pub thing and if it was really worth trying. In the end, I chose the indie path and began revising my manuscript, looking for a cover designer, and researching editors.

Determination and perseverance

At the end of this 5-year journey, I’ve learned many valuable lessons, but I think the most important one is that writing is worth it. It’s worth all the time, energy, and heart I can put into it. It’s worth all the determination and perseverance, the heartache and the fear of failing. I wanted to give up at least a million times. A voice in my head kept telling me that I’ll fail, that I sucked as a writer. And there were certainly times when that voice was so loud I was too paralyzed to write a single word. But I always found my way back to writing, and now I’m on the home stretch to my first published novel.

Click here to learn about my debut novel Seelie Princess (coming September 2019).

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Writer Q&A #2

You can find my Writer Q&A #1 here. 

26 :   What would you like to see more of in your genre?

More LGBTQ+ protagonists

27 :   Where do you get inspiration from?

All kinds of places, really. Life, books, movies, dreams,…

28 :   On a scale of 1-10, how much do you stress about choosing character names?

Maybe 3? I usually know what kind of “vibe” I’m looking for and then I’ll scroll through lists of baby names until I find one that sounds good. 

29 :   Do you tend to underwrite or overwrite in a first draft?

I’ve done both. The first draft of my first novel was way too long, with a lot of unnecessary scenes I had to cut later. In the sequel, I totally underwrote. It’ll need a lot of revision.

30 :   Does writing calm you down or stress you out?

It can do both. Nothing’s more calming than finally solving a plot problem and have the words flow onto the page. But nothing’s more stressful than staring at your screen, unable to produce a single sentence. 

Continue reading → Writer Q&A #2

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Writer Q&A #1

What’s the best way to beat writer’s block? Write! 

I guess when people tell you that they mean you should write an actual story… but I decided to play a little fun game and answer these questions I found on tumblr!

 

1 :   What age-group do you write?

YA (mostly upper-grade)  

2 :   What genre do you write?

Fantasy (and some Sci-fi, though that’s still in its baby shoes)

3 :   Do you outline according to big ideas or small details?

Big ideas. But sometimes I like to focus on small details as well. 

4 :   Which do you prefer–line-editing or plot-revisions?

I like to look at the bigger picture, so plot-revisions. 

5 :   Do you write better with or without deadlines?

With deadlines, but if they’re unreasonably close they’re too much of a stress factor. I like to give myself deadlines that make sense for my project.

Continue reading → Writer Q&A #1

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Happy New Year!

It’s the first week of 2019 and the internet is filled with everyone’s new year’s resolutions. And so I have to ask myself: Should I set some resolutions for myself? Is it really worth the pressure? I’ve decided that instead I will start off by looking back at 2018!

Accomplishments of 2018

I might not have published something, but it was a very successful year for me as a writer. I..

  1. wrote 8 flash fiction pieces (as part of my writers group challenge that you can find here)
  2. edited my first novel The Seelie Princess and received tons of great feedback
  3. entered both PitchWars and AuthorMentorMatch with that novel (and even though I did not get picked, I learned how to write a query letter and a synopsis)
  4. queried several agents
  5. tried NaNoWriMo and wrote 22,000 words in 15 days! I could not finish my project, but it was a valuable lesson to learn (read more about that here)
  6. outlined the sequel to The Seelie Princess and wrote approximately 40,000 words
  7. participated in two local writing workshops
  8. went to several Open Mic nights
  9. enjoyed at least one meeting a month with the most wonderful writers group (plus several fun evenings)
  10. read a few good books on writing and editing, including the very helpful Self-editing for Fiction Writers by Browne & King (available on Amazon)

Looking at this list now, I’m realizing how much I’ve accomplished! I’m going to be honest here and tell you that during the last year, at the end of most days, I felt as though I’d done nothing worthwhile. As though I was standing still and hadn’t progressed in my journey as a writer (and life in general) at all. But things look a bit different if I consider the sum of all those days. At the end of 2018, it didn’t matter that there were some days when I couldn’t get any work done (for whatever reason). There were plenty of other days when I was productive and creative, and those days all accumulated to that amazing list of accomplishments.

Goals for 2019

Since I can’t entirely resist the urge of planning this new year, I’m going to go ahead and make a short list of goals for 2019. This year I want to…

  1. revise The Seelie Princess and get it into the best shape possible
  2. learn more about traditional and self-publishing and see what works best for my novel
  3. finish writing the sequel
  4. participate in more writing workshops
  5. continue to meet with my writers group

To finish things up, I want to share a quote that is hanging on the wall right above my computer screen. It has guided me through difficult times in 2018 and it will continue to guide me through 2019. Sometimes we are so harsh on ourselves that we fail to see all the good that we’ve accomplished and that whatever we do is enough. HAVE A GOOD YEAR EVERYONE!

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My NaNoWriMo18 experience

-How I defied my inner demons-

On November 1st, I set out for my newest adventure as a writer. For years I had dreamed of participating in NaNoWriMo, but it never worked out due to other responsibilities. But this year, my schedule for November was clear – finally! So with a rough outline in my head, I put pen to paper and began to write. Soon, however, doubt settled in. 

Can I do this? Am I really able to write a WHOLE BOOK in just a month? Of course I’d written a book before, but that had been a long process. Months of research followed by months of planning, writing, and ultimately revising. The prospect of going through most of this process within just a month seemed daunting. And then another question settled in my mind like a parasite: What if I can’t write another book? What if I’m really an impostor, a fraud? What if I’m not really a writer? Maybe I had placed all my cards on this dream of being a writer, only to realize that I’d never make it. 

So on November 15th, halfway through NaNoWriMo18, I stopped writing. I just couldn’t continue. The thought of returning to my project was too much to handle and I turned the other way. The remainder of the month I spent licking the wounds of my bruised ego. One sentence ran through my head on constant repeat: I HAD FAILED. I had failed NaNoWriMo. I had failed writing another book. I had failed building up a writing habit. I had failed as a writer. I had failed as a human being. That was the only thing I could think of, until a friend of mine opened my eyes. It was true, I had not completed NaNoWriMo. “But you wrote 22.000 words in 15 days,” my friend said. “And even if you choose not to continue with this particular novel, you still did something! In the very least, you can consider it as practice.” Huh. I sat back in my chair. Others had told me similar things and somehow deep down I had always known that you could not fail NaNoWriMo. But this particular friend had highlighted all the things that I had accomplished and slowly the doubtful demon trying to tear me down from the inside started to subside. 

Yesterday, for the first time since November 15th, I sat back down to write. I did not continue my NaNoWriMo18 project (at least not now), but I tried to write something different. And I wrote this blog post as well. I’m not going to lie, it was hard to get back to writing, but it felt like the first sip of water after a long drought. So maybe NaNoWriMo just isn’t for me or maybe I try again next year and write even more than 50.000 words in a month. Or maybe I really needed to “fail” this year to realize that every single word I write is an achievement. Every written word can be the start of something new – or maybe it doesn’t amount to anything. Whichever it is, every second spend following my dream is an accomplishment in itself. 

So, to wrap this up, whether you finished NaNoWriMo or not, even if you wrote only a couple of words, YOU ACHIEVED SOMETHING! Be proud of what you did rather than mourn all that you could’ve done. Every single word you write is worth it!